Many of you have shared with me how much you appreciate this blog. That not only do you appreciate the updates and are encouraged by reading it, but you are also passing it along to others who may be walking a similar path. I am humbled.
I do love words, books, journals, blogs, quotes, lists, etc. I don’t think I had a choice. Mom and Dad both have a gift of making words visual. Dad could not only write well, but he was able to communicate verbally in a way that made you pay attention. I never fell asleep during his messages! Mom, definitely has a gift for writing. You know that to be true if you have ever read Evy’s Corner. I do not think that I have a gift in writing, just a love for it. My grammar and spelling are weak, but what I write is from the heart. My desire is not to paint a pretty picture, but to share the blessings and the struggles along the way. To be transparent enough to be real. The rest is up to God. If you feel encouraged, it is because God is encouraging you. I am only a vessel.
The past two weeks have been very difficult… I have felt helpless, angry, sad, fearful, anxious, discouraged, exhausted. But I have also felt comfort, peace, strength, joy, and love. I was standing on my porch the day after Dad was admitted to the hospital, feeling like my heart was being ripped apart. I could hardly talk without tears. Felt like I needed to be strong, but was indeed very weak. I felt like I was abandoning Dad. I “heard” God say, “Ruthi, you say you trust me, but do you really? Are you willing to trust me with your Dad? Do you trust me to protect him wherever he may be? Do you trust me to comfort your Mom and be her Everything? Do you trust me that I have a perfect plan? Do you trust me with your heart?” I knew there really wasn’t a choice. I HAD to trust. It was like being blindfolded on a narrow rocky path on the edge of a cliff in the dark. I had to trust God one step at a time. And you know what? He is so trustworthy! He does not give me grace, peace, strength or hope in advance, but at the precise moment I need it. Have I taken my eyes off of Jesus? You bet, I have. For I am a normal human being. Well, normal may be up for debate. But Jesus has NEVER taken His eyes off of me!
You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you. Isaiah 26:3