I have always struggled with the tension between wanting to live this verse…‎

“Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 82:3-4…

and knowing that the majority of those who cross my path on the streets of my town, asking for money, will use money I give them for things other than food or the necessities of life. I hesitate because I am a woman and most who are asking are men. But I have had this nagging conviction longing to do something… to make a difference. I talked about it here. I have told myself that if I feel a prompting to give or do something, that I should just do it and leave what the person does with it in God’s hands.

So yesterday as I was loading my groceries in my car, a young woman with a little boy (immediately thought of Jaxson) approached me very sincerely and asked if I had any spare change. I said, “no, I’m sorry”. She said thank you anyways and walked to the next aisle where she approached another lady in the parking lot. I instantly felt conviction that I had lied… I did not have any bills, but I did have a couple dollars worth of change. I finished loading my groceries, dug through my purse and car for any money I had. “God, I want to do this for You. I am sorry for not being honest.” I drove to the other end of the parking lot, looking for the young mother. When I found her I told her I had found some change and apologized for it being so little. She said “thank you, it will help. I ran out of gas. God bless you.”

 I thanked God for not letting up on me and giving me the courage to do it.  I pulled out onto the side street and saw her approach her car, parked in a shady spot at the far end of the parking lot. As she was putting her little boy in the back seat, I noticed there was a man in the passenger seat. My heart sunk and I tried not to get mad. I did not want to jump to conclusions. But questions kept crossing my mind, like… “why was he sitting on his butt in the shade while she worked the parking lot?”  “was she working the parking lot?” “was her need legit?”  I just had to leave it in God’s hands. Not sure what to really think about it.

How do you handle situations like that? Would love to hear your thoughts.